I don't believe in soul mates. I never have. I could get all technical about why they don't exist but I guess it is my common sense. Why on earth would God (or whoever your higher power is) create only ONE person on this earth for you to exist with? If you did believe in soul mates, then I think you would have to believe in a God and that everything is predestined. If everything was predestined, then why do we have agency? And what are the odds of you ever really finding your soul mate? I know I am seeming very negative but I do have a point in my ramblings so bear with me.
Now I am a fan of the Twilight series, but if you are die hard you might want to skip this portion...A few years ago I had the fortune of being in some classes with some pretty extraordinary women at a very special place called Safe Harbor. In one of our classes, we looked at addictive relationships and why they are bad. Twilight was used as our "non-example". Whether you look at Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob, the relationship screams of red flags. The concept of not being able to live without one another, while sounding romantic, is a really scary thing and something all of us should avoid. Giving up things that are most important to us are not what a good solid relationship requires. I'm grateful that I was raised to be an independent woman. That I have lived on my own with no room mates and that I have an education. I have experienced an "addictive" or destructive relationship before and while I am grateful for the life experiences gained from it, I am grateful to not feel dependant on someone. It isn't fair to either person in the relationship. So while I have never believed in soul mates, I also learned that it is very important to be my own person. To have my beliefs and my dreams and strive to be who I want to be. If I met someone along the way, then great.
Over the past year or so, my views on soul mates has changed a little. I still don't believe in them, and I still stand firm on being able to live without someone but I have experienced souls connecting. I've always believed in marriage and being committed but I think I might understand the concept of a soul mate a little more. What I wonder, is if we choose our soul mate? We choose to love, we choose to have faith, we choose to be mad, we choose to hurt, we choose to cheat, we chose to be kind, we choose to help others. So what if we choose to love and give of ourselves completely? What if we focus on giving instead of what we are receiving? What if we lose our self in service of those we love? I am experiencing this. I realized the other night that I am with a man who puts all of his focus on me yet still maintains who he is. I put my focus on him while maintaining who I am. What I've found is that we are still our individual selves, we still have our goals and dreams and fears, but I've found that along with the commitment we made to one another in marriage, we've made a deeper commitment and I feel like our souls are connected, like we are one. Does any of this make sense? I don't think Brandon and I are soul mates. I think we met and had fun. I think despite how afraid we were we both saw something in one another and in us that we liked. We chose to love. We chose to take a leap of faith. Amongst those choices I have felt a connection of our souls, of our spirits. I know Brandon and I could be ok without one another, but I know that because we started our relationship on a firm foundation of our beliefs it opened a door to a kind of connection I never knew existed a kind of love I have never experienced.
Brandon, I love you. I love who you are. I cherish you. I've found in life that honesty and communication are two of the hardest things to learn, I am grateful to have found it with you. I'm grateful for how hard you work and for all you do outside of work. You spoil me beyond measure. I know that you truly adore me and us. I am grateful for a man like you. Fun, silly, serious, calm, spiritual, honest, loving, the list goes on....I get so excited about our future together. I love the moment we are in. If I do get to chose my soul mate, I chose you.
Now I am a fan of the Twilight series, but if you are die hard you might want to skip this portion...A few years ago I had the fortune of being in some classes with some pretty extraordinary women at a very special place called Safe Harbor. In one of our classes, we looked at addictive relationships and why they are bad. Twilight was used as our "non-example". Whether you look at Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob, the relationship screams of red flags. The concept of not being able to live without one another, while sounding romantic, is a really scary thing and something all of us should avoid. Giving up things that are most important to us are not what a good solid relationship requires. I'm grateful that I was raised to be an independent woman. That I have lived on my own with no room mates and that I have an education. I have experienced an "addictive" or destructive relationship before and while I am grateful for the life experiences gained from it, I am grateful to not feel dependant on someone. It isn't fair to either person in the relationship. So while I have never believed in soul mates, I also learned that it is very important to be my own person. To have my beliefs and my dreams and strive to be who I want to be. If I met someone along the way, then great.
Over the past year or so, my views on soul mates has changed a little. I still don't believe in them, and I still stand firm on being able to live without someone but I have experienced souls connecting. I've always believed in marriage and being committed but I think I might understand the concept of a soul mate a little more. What I wonder, is if we choose our soul mate? We choose to love, we choose to have faith, we choose to be mad, we choose to hurt, we choose to cheat, we chose to be kind, we choose to help others. So what if we choose to love and give of ourselves completely? What if we focus on giving instead of what we are receiving? What if we lose our self in service of those we love? I am experiencing this. I realized the other night that I am with a man who puts all of his focus on me yet still maintains who he is. I put my focus on him while maintaining who I am. What I've found is that we are still our individual selves, we still have our goals and dreams and fears, but I've found that along with the commitment we made to one another in marriage, we've made a deeper commitment and I feel like our souls are connected, like we are one. Does any of this make sense? I don't think Brandon and I are soul mates. I think we met and had fun. I think despite how afraid we were we both saw something in one another and in us that we liked. We chose to love. We chose to take a leap of faith. Amongst those choices I have felt a connection of our souls, of our spirits. I know Brandon and I could be ok without one another, but I know that because we started our relationship on a firm foundation of our beliefs it opened a door to a kind of connection I never knew existed a kind of love I have never experienced.
Brandon, I love you. I love who you are. I cherish you. I've found in life that honesty and communication are two of the hardest things to learn, I am grateful to have found it with you. I'm grateful for how hard you work and for all you do outside of work. You spoil me beyond measure. I know that you truly adore me and us. I am grateful for a man like you. Fun, silly, serious, calm, spiritual, honest, loving, the list goes on....I get so excited about our future together. I love the moment we are in. If I do get to chose my soul mate, I chose you.
What a beautiful post. I'm so glad you guys chose each other. You compliment each other so well. We think you are great!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! I'm so glad we have met yu guys and that we've become friends! I was all excited to ask you to go to relief society! :). I like being around you. You and Matt and your family is darling. Makes my heart happy!
ReplyDeleteI loved this Jill! Thank you :)
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