The story I am about to tell is completely true. There is a good possibility that Brandon won't talk to me for at least a week after posting this. Thing is, I know we have all "been there done that" in a similar situation, and I happen to think this is very funny. Unfortunately for Brandon, he's married to someone who is incredibly open and has zero problem laughing at her antics and her husbands....
It was 4 o'clock, one hot summer afternoon. Brandon and I started to move a queen size box spring down stairs to Lilly's room. The stairs in our cottage, to our basement, are narrow and kinda steep (Cottage = old house).
We got the box spring part way down and then, it stopped moving. The corner of the box spring, literally was sitting on the very edge of the stair it needed to pass. I am positive there is no measurement in existence, small enough, to describe how close we were to getting it down this one stair.
With it being so close, we made the conclusion that most would make. We can do this. It just needs a little "coaxing". Right? Coaxing is code for force. Let's cut to the good part. We could not shove it down the stairs, and trust me, we tried. A million different ways, one which included me throwing (literally) all my weight on the box spring. I will let your imagination run with that one. Not ready to give up, we decided that if we took apart one of the corners of the box spring, it would give the wood frame the ability to move and twist just a little, and just enough, so that we could maneuver it over this last, stupid, stair.
We did the wrong corner the fist time. Moving on....
We get the right corner undone and are able to fold the boards up into the frame and were able to maneuver the box spring! Apparently, there is a measurement in existence for where the box spring was originally stuck because we were able to move it. But not off the stair.
Those of you who know me, know I'm someone who sweats. Always have. Regardless of what shape I am in. Brandon, however, does not, sometimes that is super irritating. At this point, he is drenched in sweat. So that says a lot to the state I am in.
I need to backtrack....Yes. We measured things. According to my ladybug tape measure, the box spring would fit down the stairs. And really and truly, we were so so so so so so so so close to having it down that one stupid stair that stood in our way.
Ok, so if we take apart all four corners, surely it will give us the little flexibility we need. Right? We unwedge the box spring and take it out back and take apart all four corners so we can fold the boards up in the frame.
We stood at the top of the stairs, ready to conquer. Filled with determination and covered in sweat. This box spring was going downstairs.
We lost. The box spring had other ideas and after many more comical minutes we conceded and literally threw the box spring off our deck. I plan to roast marshmallows over it for my revenge. Take that!
The kids were pretty confused about the state of the back yard and wanted to know what had happened. I simple told them, "We got into a fight. With a box spring. It won."
I hope you found this as funny as we have. I think we all have a story where we can relate. Because clearly we know better, right? A square block will fit in a round hole if I force it. Tthis time, just this once, we were wrong.
What about Lilly's bed??? Brandon made a low bed frame. Thank goodness it is "in" to have low beds!
(Brandon is unaware that I had Laura take pictures of the box spring for evidence of our fight)
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